TEST DRIVE MEME

[bibliofilo]

TEST DRIVE MEME

> The Park. Man, what a nice day out. Why not enjoy it? I'm sure -- shit, yep, there's some echo monsters.
> The Mall. Exactly what it says on the tin! Dodge the hordes of teenage mallrats or take part, whichever suits your tastes.
> Rainy Day. Agh, it's fucking awful out. And is it raining those vermilion things?? Now you've got an Echo to contend with on top of everything else. Find some shelter, quick!
> PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, HOW FUN
> The most horribly kitschy Arts and Crafts Fair you can imagine.
> NEW YEARS. What better way to start out the new year than to learn that everything you know is a lie? Or if you are already acquainted with the network pass out some resolutions.
> A food fight has just broken out in the cafeteria. Join? Flee? The choice is yours alone.
> Wild Card! Make up your own.

Comments

[and_taxes]

The skeleton looks up from the hourglass and seems briefly panicked.

CHAINS? I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ABOUT CHAINS. DO I NEED THEM?

[aceofknaves]

"No! No, you don't need them!" Souji was now struggling to get up, which pretty much just ended in experiencing new and fascinating kinds of pain. He flopped bonelessly back onto the grass.

"I swear I didn't even touch that chest, so back off with the suspicious hourglass, buddy. Or I'll..." He turned his head left and right for possible sources of help, but found none. "Seriously? No one's around?"

[and_taxes]

The recently minted Death stood over him, concerned, and offered a bony hand. IF THERE WERE, THEY COULD NOT HELP YOU.

There was a pause. I THINK WE HAVE TWO VERY DIFFERENT EXPLANATIONS FOR WHY I AM HERE. I CAME TO OFFER HELP.

[aceofknaves]

Souji eyed that hand with skepticism. It looked pre-tty bony.

"Okay, but you've definitely got the whole Grim Reaper thing going on. This isn't the kind of 'help' that involves putting me out of my misery, is it?"

[and_taxes]

ER... WELL. YES, ACTUALLY. Death scratched at his skull with a faint scrabbling noise. I REALIZE THAT PROBABLY ISN'T WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ON THE JOB.

[aceofknaves]

Souji had, in fact, been starting to reach out to take the proffered hand... but at that answer, he snatched it back immediately. "Not what I want to hear?! Get. Away. From me."

Goddammit, there was no he'd be able to beat this Reaper guy on his own. He needed to fix this. Preferably nowish.

With a sudden surge of strength and fortitude, he sat up and started pulling at the fang. Wait, no. Bad idea. That really hurt. Plus, he got the feeling that it was acting like a plug or something, because he wasn't bleeding as much as he expected.

"Look. Reaper. Death. Whatever you call yourself. I need you to do me a solid and call 911."

[and_taxes]

Sighing, Death drew back. It seemed Souji was going to make it. Only the living are this obstinate*.

I CANNOT. IF YOU ARE HAVING A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, IT FOLLOWS THAT I AM HAVING AN EXPERIENCE NEAR YOU.

*Dying tends to mellow a soul out. Notice how few of the dead protest if you ignore custom and insult them.

[aceofknaves]

What the -- was this guy just going to stand there and watch?

"What do you mean, 'having an experience'? You know what I'm experiencing right now? A giant goddamn tooth embedded in my torso. Don't you have a cell phone or something?"

Aforementioned tooth was making Souji rather irritable.