[TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

[reapsthewind]

I HONESTLY COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD PICTURE SO THANKS LAVVY

Here, have the slightly more relevant song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nLlL1mwKI

Anyway, this is a random scenario test drive meem, since we've had an influx of new potential appers. I am a bit too lazy to make this a proper meem, so you make your own shit up. Here's some inspirational scenarios:

> The Mall. The hell are you doing out in the suburbs, bro? And why is that woman trying so hard to sell you nail polish?
> The Park. MAN IT IS A NICE D-- shit is that a Vermicelli or whatever the monsters are called?
> Arts & Crafts Fair. Cute knit cat cozies! Bad pretzels! YEAH.
> Rainy Day. It's wet and you're stuck at the bus stop. HOW DEGRADING.
> You get an echo while someone else is around. SHIT. PARANOIA TIME.

Or make up your own!

Comments

ABSOLUTE FALSEHOODS AND LIES

[friendleading]

[No pain, no gain.

He continues walking, only vaguely aware of the plot until she stops right in front of him, the pointy end of the parasol poised and delivered right on target.

Well, at least he could say this plan hurt him more than it hurt her. He doubles over from the jab, letting loose a cough. Oh well, keep going with what he was going to do - that is, make a scene. The hints of a Hawaiian accent flow from his lips as he speaks up.]

W-what was that all about!?

THE WORLD KNOWS THE TRUTH NOW THERE'S NO HIDING

[thorny]

[Hikari's group bursts into giggles once more as she turns neatly on her heel to regard her poor victim with a concerned smile that doesn't reach her eyes. she tilts her head lightly, resting both hands on the handle of her parasol as she readjusts it from the way the impact had skewed it.

there's another surprised when she speaks: despite having said nothing to anyone in a language other than Japanese, her words now are pin perfect English. there's no trace of an accent as she addresses Mac]

Oh, my apologies! I hadn't realized that someone was walking so close behind me.

on an unrelated note can i just say how great these two are

[friendleading]

[He looks up at you, giving a grin through his pain. Eugh. There was something about the way this girl behaved that just right pissed him off. He could be pretty vicious when he wanted to be, but this girl was a full on piece of work. That lack of an accent too. That was probably practiced for weeks in a mirror to be appealing, what a joke!

Still, that did defuse his 'make a scene' plan somewhat, ugh. Why did he pick this piece of work out of everyone he could have spent the day bugging!?]

I wasn't walking that close. Why'd you stop, anyway!? [Other than to make me look like an ass. He thought to himself. She'll have to work harder than a jab to the gut to make him go away.]

lmao yes they're building up for the most awkward memory regains ever

[thorny]

I thought that some dirt had fallen onto my stockings.

[she shifts her leg a bit to show him exactly what she's talking about, perfectly aware that the stockings are as immaculate as the rest of her outfit. it's absolutely possible for him to take the mention of dirt as an oblique reference to him, and Hikari hopes that he does - encounters like these are always better when the other person helps themselves along down the path of humiliation.]

But I suppose that everything happens for a reason. You've learned a valuable lesson about navigating crowded spaces from this.

PRETTY MUCH YEAH. so you're apping within the month right

[friendleading]

[Oh, she's good. A nice little jab at him and a way to show off her dainty little outfit. He gets a good look at her nice clean stockings, smiling at them. She wanted to act high and mighty hiding behind a language, well, two could play at that low-brow game.]

Ho'olei kelekele ho'i pono'i 'a'ahu ma'ema'e.

[A smile on his face, before he shook his head.]

Sorry. "Your clothes are very clean." Is what I meant to say. Sometimes the tongue slips. I don't often practice my speech.

[Just a few barbed jabs to let her know that she's not the only one here who a pick a thinly veiled fight.]

SEE THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT EVERYONE LOOK HE'S TRYING TO STRONGARM ME

[thorny]

Yes, it does seem that you don't practice much of anything.

[her eyes flick up and down his clothing again, politely disdainful despite that pleasant demeanor never abating. it's amusing that he thinks he's competent enough to fight back against her by spewing a language that sounded like a yodeler in distress.]

Well, at the very least it gives you infinite opportunities to practice against your betters. That must be quite exciting! I'm almost jealous.

BUT ALL THE WONDERFUL TRAINWRECKS, I ALREADY SET THE TRAIN ON FIRE AND EVERYTHING

[friendleading]

Well, when I find someone my better, I'm sure you'll be the first I inform, so you can take the same opportunity.

[By contrast, he never takes his eyes off her face, blue eyes bright in the sun, a facsimile of a smile on his face as he extends an insult wrapped in an opportunistic offer.] I wouldn't want to make you jealous of me, after all.

NO THANKS I'VE GOT A DENTIST APPOINTMENT FOR THE REST OF ALWAYS

[thorny]

Oh no, certainly not. That would be such a horribly demoralizing experience that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

[it's almost cute how he thinks that boring a hole into her face will make her crumble. she chuckles lightly, blinking lazily once to keep her amusement in check]

Although it seems that your speech isn't the only ability you're sorely lacking in, so perhaps you should begin with something a bit simpler? I'd hate to see you fail and become discouraged.

WE CAN DROP YOU OFF ON THE DENTIST ON OUR WAY TO CLUSTERFUCK CANYON

[friendleading]

Please. Discouragement is the least of my worries, and belittlement doesn't rank much higher.

[He actually lets out a small scoff. Even throwing in a dismissive shake of his head and a dusting of of his leather jacket.]

I do appreciate the concern, but believe you me, it takes more that some stumbling perceived by others to break me down.

[Yeah, okay, he's not even trying to mask what he's talking about anymore. Playtime's over.]

NO IT'S FINE I'M GOING TO BE FOREVER

[thorny]

[Hikari tilts her head to the side, expression all china doll perfection and concern. he may not have the stamina to keep up the masquerade (which she counts as a win) but she's certainly going to keep playing it out. it makes him look at the more idiotic]

My goodness, you seem to be a bit riled up over something. Is there anything I can do?

NO NO BY ALL MEANS ALL ABOARD WE'RE GOING TO PASS IT ON THE WAY

[friendleading]

Riled up? You might be thinking of the wrong words, miss. I'm not particularly riled up over anything.

[Even her face has that doll-like property to it. She was selling this gig well, even if it made his blood boil to see it. What was this, one of those annie-may things? Gag. Nevertheless, he put on a face of gratitude, smiling softly.]

Though your concern is quite admirable. There aren't many people who'd go out of their way to help a stranger like that.

[Fuck it, he might not be able to break the facade, but he could totally bait her using it.]

I'LL WALK IT'S FINE I NEED THE EXERCISE

[thorny]

Once you find yourself a stranger in a completely different country, it's rather easy to empathize with awkward individuals. America is wonderful for that.

[and once again the cheerful surface belies more jabs at both Mac and the entire country. this conversation gone on longer than Hikari had thought it would, but she can't say that it's an annoyance; she's enjoying continually locking the boy into this pretend pleasantry, and is looking forward to the moment when he can't take it any longer]

All the same, it's reassuring to know this is your natural state.