saveyourbrain | LET'S [test] DRIVING

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test drive meme

LET'S [test] DRIVING

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN, YOU KNOW THE DRILL. Here's a few options, all stolen shamelessly from previous iterations.

> The Park. Man, what a nice day out. Why not enjoy it? I'm sure -- shit, yep, there's some echo monsters or whatever they're called.
> The Mall. Exactly what it says on the tin! Dodge the hordes of teenage mallrats or take part, whichever suits your tastes.
> Rainy Day. Agh, it's fucking awful out. And is it raining those vermilion things?? Now you've got an Echo to contend with on top of everything else. Find some shelter, quick!
> Arts and Crafts Fair. WILL THE KITSCH OVERWHELM YOU

or make up your own whatever this is basic and just for the purposes of getting a new test drive up.

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You don't know what I know!

[He folds his arms stubbornly, sticking to his guns, because he basically has to at this point. He's green. What else is he going to say?

But then Tim says that next part and he realizes he can run with it, suddenly looking super offended. Tim no.]

Dude, come on, you think I would joke about veganism?!

[Aw crap.]

No, I didn't mean it like that!

[He took a half-step back at the...accusation? Tim wasn't really one known for having social grace, OK.]

I'm just trying to help! Even you wouldn't go running around looking green on purpose, and there's no news of any kind of assembly, or rally...

[Yeah that's right you better respect. Garfield takes a moment to stare and think, like he's trying to decide whether or not to be mad...

And then he loses most of his pretense because Tim is supposed to be his friend and he's kind of really weirded out here ok. Maybe a little scared -- this is taking the veganism too far. If he has to go to class like this, he might actually die.]

Ok ok, fine, you gotta help me dude. I don't know what happened! One minute I'm Gene Kelly Singin' In the Rain, next thing I'm freakin' Galactic Space Frogs From Outer Space! What do I do? I can't go to class like this!

[Well, he successfully averted a full-on vegan rant, so Tim's calling this one a success.]

So your skin really is green. [Well...damn if that wasn't fascinating and concerning all at the same time.] I suppose it could be some kind of skin or cell problem, but... [Biological maladies didn't just pop up for singing showtunes.] What exactly happened?

[Garfield just takes a long moment to stare. Did you not just listen to that part where he cited a musical?]

Tim, buddy, friend ol' pal. I'm flattered you wanna take the time to hear my dulcet tenor tones, but I don't do repeat performances without donations.

[He flashes the douchiest smirk he can manage before it disappears. Humor is hard right now.]

Seriously though, I was literally just walking home.

[Joke all you wanted, it just made Tim sigh and grumble a bit with agitation.] I wasn't asking.

[Whatever. He's used to it, recovering back to his typical seriousness, because this was far more important than Gar asking for donations.]

Just... like normal? That can't be right. Pigments don't just... change like that, not even in normal disorders. There has to be something that set it off-- what about the last couple of days? Did anything important happen?

[Garfield grumbles and pulls his hands to his face.]

Tim, I'm telling you, the stupid rain turned me GREEN!

[He pulls the skin of his cheeks outward in a distressed manner.]

You're good at bioengineering right? Fix it!

Calm down! [Tim put his hands up to gesture for Garfield to bring it down, but he was aware the chances of him actually calming down were low.

One hand was still awkwardly trying to hold his umbrella at the same time, so-- he didn't really have any evidence that the rain actually did turn Garfield green, but there was the smallest percentage of a possibility-- so he lifted the umbrella and held the handle out to Garfield, gesturing for him to take it.

He'll be kind enough to forgo the pedantics that no he was not an Engineer, he was just a biology student studying forensic science thank you very much.]

I can try-- I could use the lab equipment back on campus or at the forensic lab to get a closer look, but this is beyond anything I've heard of before. If you're right, all I can guess is that something in the water reacted with your cells to make them produce green melanin, but it'd take way longer than even a day for it to show on more than a finger. This may take a while...

[of course Gar also seemed intent on giving him as few clues as possible.]

Yeah, sure, I'll totally do whatever.

[Garfield sees what Tim is trying to do and he is quick to stop him from uncovering himself with the umbrella.]

Don't bother, its too late for me dude -- like, we don't both have to be green.

[He stops a moment, looking thoughtful. But instead of heeding the advice, he spun the umbrella's handle a bit until it was hanging downwards, allowing the raindrops to begin soaking into his hair and coat as he held it out to Garfield once more.]

If this already happened, it's possible it could get worse; it's more important to make sure you're safe until we figure out what's going on.

Besides, we have to get back to campus, and I don't think you want people to call out for the Galactic Space Frogs.

[Cue SHOCK AND HORROR BECAUSE OH NO TIM'S GONNA TURN GREEN except he doesn't. At all. He looks between the other boy, the umbrella, and back again before looking a little annoyed. Well if it wasn't the rain...was it really just him?]

Ok ok, fine.

[He struggles with the umbrella for a second, but when he does manage to open it, he makes a point to try and hide under it.]

So uh. You're not gonna disect me, are you? Because that wouldn't be cool, dude.

[It'd be a lie to say Garfield's shock didn't amuse him, but he did let it go in lieu of more important things to address.

Like live dissection.]

Don't worry, I'll just take a few DNA samples to analyze and do some tests on at first.

[And then, without skipping a beat:] Besides, live dissections are only on Tuesdays.

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LET'S [test] DRIVING

schroDINGER'S OK-NESS BYE

i parsed that as schro-dick-ner's OK-ness amirite

SCREAMS

i'm so sorry for my brain right now wheezes

im more sorry for me in general

garmenfield for everything

garmenfield sounds like a bad ripoff of cloverfield

garfield logan presents: cloverfield, the beast boy story

we've truly come full circle

a bumpy circle drawn by an eight year old

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