Oh noooo it's such a shame that Ryan is jobless and can't go outside cause otherwise he'd get people... really thoughtful (dad) gifts like socks and notebooks for school and that sort of thing... ALTHOUGH

For Ellie, a sweater, to match his and Bertl's.
For Jamie, a backpack that looks like a turtle.
For Anthony, a t-shirt that says "hi ___ I'm dad."
Yeah, that doesn't make sense, is that supposed to be bad?
For Alan, a notebook emblazoned with Batman.
For Tavia, some nail polish? Hey, don't ask me, man.
For Chloe, the angel, a bottle of wine.
For Levi, some Lysol? I can't make these rhyme.
For Sasha, a cookbook, "How to Best Cook Wild Game"
For Connie, a record, I think you know the name.
For Marzio a copy of "So Now You've Got Freckles"
"that doesn't exist, shut up, Jan..." someone heckles.

For Shiro, an apron that says "I don't bite."
For Nick, some whiskey, he could use the respite.
For Karson, A LOT OF GIFTS, oh wait, they're for Crab.
"I got you an iPhone. That's it :^) signed, Not!Dad"

And for everyone else in our dear Save The Earth,
Whose names I could not rhyme, for better or worse,
I give you my love and all sort of nice kisses
as Ryan sends everyone sweet holiday wishes.