TEST DRIVE MEME

[youngestone]

Test Drive Meme!

Scenarios:
> The Park. Man, what a nice day out. Why not enjoy it? I'm sure -- shit, yep, there's some echo monsters.
> The Mall. Exactly what it says on the tin! Dodge the hordes of teenage mallrats or take part, whichever suits your tastes.
> Rainy Day. Agh, it's fucking awful out. And is it raining those vermilion things?? Now you've got an Echo to contend with on top of everything else. Find some shelter, quick!
> PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. HOW FUN
> Arts and Crafts Fair. All the kitschy fun you can imagine.
> Wild Card! Make up your own.

Comments

[pianistofraielin]

I SAID, HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR YOUR FELLOW COMMUTERS!

[he says, shouting to someone on a crowded train...]

[abhero]

[Emil pulls out his phone and types something. Then he leans toward Russel and shoves the phone in his face.]

my fellow commuters r more pissed at ur screams

[pianistofraielin]

[?! Russel leans back, staring perplexed at the phone for a couple seconds before he actually reads the screen]

Huh? What are yo-- [pause. glances over.]

[oh, those are some nasty glares he's getting. um.]

[this is the part where he realizes that guitar solo he's listening to is NOT life's ambient music. whoopssss. he snatches his headphones off, sliding them down to his neck, flashing the other commuters a sheepish, apologetic look]

[and then addresses Emil again, this time in hushed anger] Anyway you can't just go around taking up two seats on a train this crowded, you know? That's really rude!

[abhero]

Can't?

[Who the hell is this guy, telling him what to do?

Emil smiles smugly and makes himself comfortable again, leaning back and stretching his legs. The only way for him to be less subtle is actually shouting "look at all this nice space I have and you don't!"]

I just did. If no one was fast enough to take the other seat, then everyone here is seriously out of shape. I'm actually doing you a favor by making you stand up, you can use the exercise.

[pianistofraielin]

[the nerve of this guy!!!! Russel is fuming and he has half a mind to remove him by force. telling a football player he needs more exercise! really!]

Didn't your parents ever teach you about common courtesy?!

[abhero]

[That would get violent pretty fast. Emil isn’t a football player but he ain’t giving the other seat without a fight. He earned it fair and square - well okay it wasn’t fair, but he still earned it!

Right now, though, Russel’s irritation amuses him greatly. People are so easy to rile up!

In a more conversational tone, he says:]

Of course. My mom’s always telling me not to be condescending, that I shouldn’t assume people need my help just ‘caused they’re old, pregnant or disabled, physically or mentally…

[There’s just a hint of emphasis on that last word, followed by Emil giving Russel a look of mock sympathy.]

So you see, I’m being courteous by not giving people this seat. Who am I to presume? I don’t want to offend anyone by letting them sit, that’s like saying they can’t stand up!

[Chances are he’s being deliberately obtuse, but dear god he sure sounds convinced.]

1/2

[pianistofraielin]

[What was that look? What is he implying?!]

[Russel stares at Emil in silence for a moment. He is simply stunned -- ]

2/2

[pianistofraielin]

[ -- BY HOW HE COULD SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE]

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! You're just making excuses to be an asshole!!

[abhero]

[Oh man. Emil should really thank Russel when one of them reaches his destination - he didn’t expect the ride to be so entertaining and if there’s anything Emil hates is being bored.

He keeps his tone and expression neutral.]

That’s rude. A true asshole wouldn’t make excuses, he’d embrace his asshole-ness. But you’re so quick to judge you failed to see through my words. I was thinking of letting you sit if you pass the test but you called me an asshole who says dumb things. Now I’m deeply offended and transformed into a real asshole because of society’s prejudices. No one’s getting this seat until I get off this train and no you have no one but yourself to blame.

[With that, Emil leans back and crosses his arms, as if saying “SO THERE”.]

oh my god that tag is beautiful

[pianistofraielin]

Wh--?!?!

[WHAT DO YOU EVEN SAY TO THAT. it's just...it's so... IS HE BEING SERIOUS OR WILLFULLY OBTUSE?! should Russel be backpedaling and apologizing or should he be doubling down? HE DOESN'T KNOW. THIS IS A DISASTER. WHY DID HE EVER BOARD THIS TRAIN, HE COULD JUST AS EASILY HAVE TAKEN A BUS...]

H-hey! You have a choice to act like this, you know! Of course if you do rude things people are going to assume you're rude! That's not society's prejudices, that's just common sense!

[abhero]

How can you assume stuff on someone you don’t even know, did you stop to think why I’m doing rude things? Maybe I have troubles at home so I act out. Maybe I’m saving this seat for my sick grandmother who’s boarding the next station, a poor woman who can barely walk but can’t afford a taxi.

[Emil starts to really get into it, voice laced with fake (but rather convincing) hurt.]

You know what I think? I think your common sense is just lack of empathy. I bet you’re one of these people who’d lock up a hungry man for thirty years for stealing a loaf of bread. You should be ashamed of yourself!

[As he gives Russel an angry look, Emil wonders if he went too far. No one would ever buy that much bullshit… but he’s having fun. The other guy’s expression is worth it.]

[pianistofraielin]

[ha ha ha of course not, surely nobody could be that gullibl--oh who are you kidding, this is Russel. Of course he bought it.]

Y...you're right. I was so quick to judge, I didn't even stop to think about what you might be going through. I should have tried to understand you better, I'm sorry...!

I promise I would never lock someone up for thirty years for stealing a loaf of bread, that's not the kind of person I am!