test drive meme

[titansno]

Test Drive Meme!

Scenarios:
> The Park. Man, what a nice day out. Why not enjoy it? I'm sure -- shit, yep, there's some echo monsters.
> The Mall. Exactly what it says on the tin! Dodge the hordes of teenage mallrats or take part, whichever suits your tastes.
> Rainy Day. Agh, it's fucking awful out. And is it raining those vermilion things?? Now you've got an Echo to contend with on top of everything else. Find some shelter, quick!
> PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. HOW FUN
> Arts and Crafts Fair. All the kitschy fun you can imagine.
> Wild Card! Make up your own.

Comments

[bravelyspoken]

[ Shittingfuckingbuggeration he is going to be fired. That is definitely on the do-not-do list, 'do not throw coffee at customers'. He holds up his hands in mock surrender, frozen for a moment. ]

Uhhh... wait there-- wait, no, come here, you need to --

[ Here let him just come around the counter and proceed to drag you away and force your hands under freezing cold water it's for the burn. ]

[qiangdajie]

...You don't know how to put makeup on? Like at all?

[ Consider Jane dumbfounded. ]

Oh my god you poor thing!

[qiangdajie]

Mm...[ She takes a moment to look at the lipstick's label. ] Yīngtáo qìshuǐ. So that's like, Cherry soda. It would probably translate better to Cherry Pop or something cute like that.

They sell a whole bunch of these cheap imported brands down on Bond street.

[conceited]

[ More important than the burn on his hand is the fact that he's going to show up to an important meeting with a huge coffee stain on his cuff. His weird mixture of confusion and anger is only growing by the second as Emery drags him away. ]

What are you--

[ When he realizes his hands are being guided towards the sink, he pulls back, voice raising even louder. He reaches instead for the nearest pile of napkins, frantically wiping at his hands and the fabric. ]

Are you insane?! Dont. STOP.

[ He scowls and pulls away completely, uttering a few more curses as he makes his way back to the other side of the bar. This suit is dry clean only!!! ]

I need to speak to your manager.

[ So what if he's going to be late? He's already a sloppy hot mess. It's not like being late will make it any worse at this point. ]

[bravelyspoken]

No!

[ That was not a yelp. Emery does not yelp. It was just a protest, slightly higher in pitch than normal. ]

No, look, I'm sorry, I just -- you should put your hands under cold water. So you don't blister. Burns blister, that's why --

[ Fired fired fired oh he is so fired. ]

Here!

[ He is dumping an entire stack of napkins down in front of Arthur. Just in case. ]

[conceited]

[ The yelp just earns Emery a look. The type of look that is wholly unamused but also trying to assess the situation objectively. Now that the initial pain has died down somewhat, he's not quite as ready to explode. Just fuming.

He's not quite so cruel as to get someone fired over this, no matter how tempting the notion is. ]

I'm well aware that burns blister, but you didn't dump hot oil on me, now did you?

[ Which is to say: it's just coffee, and it's not worth ruining his nice jacket. Coffee cooled down pretty quickly, thankfully.

He just... stares at the stack of napkins in front of him, angrily grabbing a pile off the top and dabbing at his sleeve some more. ]

What's your name?

[bravelyspoken]

No, but, I think the same thing applies? It will go all red and...

[ He stares miserably, defeated, and uses some of the napkins to mop a bit of latte off the counter. ]

Emery. Do you want a plaster?

[ Since he doesn't want cold water for his burn. He belatedly looks down at his own hands, which also had scalding coffee hit them, and mops them slightly. ]

I have some Avengers ones.

[ Yes, that is right, bribe a serious looking businessman with Avengers themed plasters. ]

[conceited]

[ Arthur takes a moment to huff and press down the lid of his coffee securely in place. There wouldn't be anymore accidents if he could help it. He slams the used napkins back down on the bar. ]

No, I do not want a plaster. [ He looks back up at him, lips pursed tightly. ]

I want to know your working days and hours so that I make sure to never come in when you're here. I was under the impression most of the baristas here were actually competent.

[ And because his rudeness can't be tamed right now -- ]

I guess they've lowered their standards.

[bravelyspoken]

[ Oh no you didn't. Emery draws himself up to his full height and mops the counter more aggressively. ]

Well maybe if someone hadn't been harassing me while I made him coffee I wouldn't have made a mistake.

[conceited]

[ Arthur laughs bitterly. He's considering the manager thing again. ]

Oh, so now it's my fault, is it?

[bravelyspoken]

Yes!

[ Apparently he's on a roll. Fighting fire with fire. That sort of thing. ]

Do you have any idea how many cups of coffee I make a morning? How many lattes, cappuccinos, soy, skinny, triple shot, espressos, each exactly right or else I have to remake it and it really doesn't help me feel less rushed if you stand there making clever quips just because you left late and I am not a magical instant dispenser of latte. Now. I won't charge you because I spilled it. I'll not charge you tomorrow if you like too. Can I get you anything else?

[conceited]

[ Well that just leaves Arthur right stunned. For the moment, at least. It doesn't make him any less annoyed, but well, he's not used to being argued back with. Not by anyone other than his father and his sister. He raises his eyebrows, halfway between utter disbelief and amusement. ]

Are you finished? Or would you like to dig your hole just a little deeper?

[ Yeeeeeep those are definitely other customers staring now. His lips, which were previously in a seemingly permanent scowl, are curved into a tiny little smile. ]

Now that you mention it, I think I'll take another for my client. It's the least I can offer now that I'm ridiculously late.

[ He sticks his hands in his pockets, casting his gaze upwards and looking absolutely pensive. ]

Now, let's see... I forget how he takes his coffee.

[ After just a split second, he shoots Merlin a dazzling smile, eyes gleaming with a terribly mischievous glint. ]

That's right. I'll take a grande extra hot soy with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla and a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon and a half packet of splenda sweetener.

[ He pauses, putting a forefinger to his chin. Is he done? Oh no. ]

Oh! I almost forgot. Put that in a venti cup and fill up the "room" with extra whipped cream. Caramel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.

[ That smile isn't going anywhere. ]

[bravelyspoken]

[ Emery throws his hands in the air, as if asking some unseen god for help. ]

Splenda and sugar-free cinnamon and vanilla but normal caramel and chocolate sauce? You aren't even trying!

[ So no, he is not finished. ]

[conceited]

[ Even so, his smile doesn't falter, but his tone goes flat. This guy is unreal. ]

And it had better be 160 degrees even, Emery.

[ He's already anticipating the next question, whether Emery asks it or not. ]

Fahrenheit.

[bravelyspoken]

This is going to be disgusting, just so you know.

[ His tone is forced-cheerful, fake smile firmly in place as he turns away to start efficiently banging out the coffee grounds and setting up the machine. ]

Is this a latte too, by the way? You didn't specify in your little burst of fancy ordering. Just a grande extra hot soy something in a venti cup with whipped cream and chocolate and caramel sauce but sugar free cinnamon and vanilla.

[clawkind]

[she can't help but laugh a little, the feathers in her hair shivering slightly in time with her giggles]

They're like phone numbers, but only for this network! If you don't have one you can't even see it.

[conceited]

That's likely because you'll be making it, not because of the temperature.

[ He takes a big, audible sigh. It's hard to suppress the murderous urge right now. ]

Yes. It's a latte. Unless you'd like to take on the impossible feat of a 160 degree frappuccino.

[bravelyspoken]

Could have been a mocha for all I know.

[ He starts pressing buttons and hums in exaggerated fake-happiness under his breath as he works, frowning after a moment as he focuses more on concentrating on what he's doing. It may be a disgusting abomination of an order but he's going to make it, turning around to grab the right cloths, syrup pumps and ridiculous splenda and oh how he hates his job right now. ]

Here we go. One grande extra hot soy in a venti cup with extra foam, split shot with a half squirt of sugar-free vanilla, a half squirt of sugar-free cinnamon, a half packet of splenda sweetener and filled up with extra whipped cream. Caramel and chocolate sauce drizzled on top. Enjoy.

[ He beams his best 'go fuck yourself please' smile and carefully fastens on the lid before gently sliding it across the counter. ]

[conceited]

[ For this, Arthur has all the patience in the world. He only casts his attention away from Emery to dig out his phone and text the appropriate parties. Give them a heads up about being 20 minutes late and whatnot.

He had to admit, he admired the boy's unwillingness to give up. Anyone in their right mind would have just taken a strike.

But that doesn't mean he's going to cut Emery any slack. That would be far too easy. He returns the smile right back once the ridiculous order's finished. ]

Thank you.

[ Right before Emery's eyes, he takes both drinks, gives him a nod in his direction, and promptly tosses both full cups into the nearest wastebasket. ]

Well. Have a good day then, Emery.

[bravelyspoken]

[ Admittedly, he wouldn't have drunk that either.

It would have been disgusting on so many levels.

... Still.

Emery grits his teeth and smiles, offers Arthur a little wave. ]

You too, come back soon!

[ More like never. ]

[moreweaponsthanyou]

Sorry! He's usually much better behaved then that. No idea what got into him today. You don't have to worry though, he doesn't bite.

[Fil's now pulling the Lab back by its collar.] Back, boy! Sit!

[elegantsoldier]

I like Cherry Pop better too.

That's near Chinatown, isn't it? [She asks, curious. Even if she's Japanese, she has wandered to Chinatown on occasion as it meshes with the Japanese part of the city.] I'm still learning my way around the city.

[beleg]

[Beleg smiles back and shakes his head, readjusting his camera backpack over his shoulder.]

No, you didn't. And yes, it's very crowded. To be honest though, I've seen worse.

[beleg]

[lol]

[It takes a moment for Beckett to pinpoint Julien's voice, but when he does he looks right up at you.


My cat. Have you by any chance seen a small black cat around?

[espigeonage]

Cats? [he does not really care for cats, in general, but keeps it from his face and voice, just tucks that sleeve closer to himself.] Uh... no, sorry. I wasn't really paying attention. I could help you look? I'm pretty good with animals.