saveyourbrain | [TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

Entry tags:

test drive meme

[TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

I HONESTLY COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD PICTURE SO THANKS LAVVY

Here, have the slightly more relevant song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nLlL1mwKI

Anyway, this is a random scenario test drive meem, since we've had an influx of new potential appers. I am a bit too lazy to make this a proper meem, so you make your own shit up. Here's some inspirational scenarios:

> The Mall. The hell are you doing out in the suburbs, bro? And why is that woman trying so hard to sell you nail polish?
> The Park. MAN IT IS A NICE D-- shit is that a Vermicelli or whatever the monsters are called?
> Arts & Crafts Fair. Cute knit cat cozies! Bad pretzels! YEAH.
> Rainy Day. It's wet and you're stuck at the bus stop. HOW DEGRADING.
> You get an echo while someone else is around. SHIT. PARANOIA TIME.

Or make up your own!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

(Crixus just gives Winter a bit of a flat look.)

Tina is young and she is my master. As her companion it is my duty to make sure she is safe. Besides, why should I have to wait outside? I think there is a word for that...'speciesism' or something like that.

I also don't like leaving Crixus alone. There was one time we got separated...I was really scared and lost for a few hours. When I finally found Crixus he looked really sick and in pain. I've never seen him like that before.

[Winter nods.]

I-I understand that. But... not everyone here is used to seeing an animal guarding a person. I think that's why you had a problem at the library. And I d-didn't realize there would be a downside to you being separated. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked.

(Crixus just shrugs a little.)

Relax. Not like you knew. I mean, Tina and I are still trying to figure out what happened that day. That was a weird week in general. It was a day after I first spoke and Tina gained her ability. Hehe, you should have seen some of the faces on the people who saw me that day though. Their panic was priceless.

(Tina looks at the now laughing Crixus for a beat before looking a Winter.)

That is kinda the other reason I try and stay with him.

(Crixus just smirks more at that.)

Okay... t-that's fair enough. I-I'm not sure I'd enjoy seeing the faces of people panicking, though. I think... I'd be panicking, too.

You need to be the one doing the scaring. You humans can make such funny faces when scared and all of them are unique. Try it out sometime and watch. It can be fun to cause a good scare once in a while.

But you do it all the time Crixus.

(Crixus gives a mischievous toothed smile.)

What can I say? I'm just naturally scary.

(Tina smiles a little before looking at Winter a little and leaning closer to whisper.)

Don't worry. Crixus likes to see people jump but he doesn't bite much. He only really bites mean or bad people so you should be fine.

I-I don't want to do the scaring, though. I like not standing out. W-well... not really, but...

[At Tina's comment, though, Winter can't help but giggle a little.]

Okay. I'll remember that.

[oh my fuck]

Do I even wanna know what foul fuckin' abyss that came out of?

Their fucking loss, Heath. [and a little chuckle.] Yeah, no, the classics just aren't appreciated too much now. Most kids aren't brought up on a good mix like we were, y'know? Don't have the background.

[longer sip of sangria. god, this is awful. but at least he won't have too much of it, he's gotta drive later...]

OPTION A:

[It's mid-afternoon at a piano bar in Locke City, and this dour-looking gent on the piano is playing...

Is that Super Mario Bros. 3?

He's taking requests, anyway.]

OPTION B:

[Piano bar hasn't called, no cases...sigh. What's a PI got to do to get some damn work? So here's a guy waiting with his phone ready and a note on the door of his office saying he's out and to try alternate contact. So, chilling and walking around the mall in a longcoat and a tattered yellow scarf, waiting for some kind of alert from his phone.

He may or may not have one of these ridiculous fucking things in hand and a book sticking out of his coat pocket. Playin' Castlevania III.

Are you a passerby at the mall? Or are you a would-be client looking to get in touch with him?]

OPTION C:

[Whatever you like! Go go go.]

Edited 2013-06-16 12:02 (UTC)

[Hikari happens to be a fellow shopper at the mall today, dressed to the nines and out searching for acceptable accessories. she's taken a break at the moment and is sitting on a bench when she spots the wannabe noir asshole wandering by her.

did he really think that he could get away with looking so conspicuous while playing something like that? she really has no idea, but she's certainly going to do something about it either way. nobody that absorbed in something should ever be left to alone.

it's pretty simple, after all. all it takes is for her to angle the parasol balanced between her knees down a bit and some patience. the umbrella is a long one today, and with that sort of unfocus it's bound to catch him up]

[Rainy day at the bus stop is generally a bad thing for most people, but this older fellow isn't most people. He's well-built for his age, obviously having done a lot of physical work in his life. His temples are greying, and coupled with his black hair, it gives him a distinguished look. At least as distinguished as one can be with messy hair made worse by the rain. One eye is cloudy and white, and his work clothes are pretty soaked, along with him. He's plunked down on the bench, dripping a bit onto the concrete, but he doesn't really seem bothered. Heck, he'll even strike up conversation with anyone else unlucky enough to be caught out in this.]

Hell of a day, huh?

(Crixus just gives a cocky shrug.)

Whatever. More fun for me.

(Tina giggles a little.)

Crixus, I think your scaring...Oh! I don't know your name! Momma always told me to call people by their name so what's yours? Mine's Tina Hearth. And this is Crixus.

I think she knows our names by this point Tina.

(Tina pouts.)

But Momma always told me to introduce yourself when meeting new people!

[So there's this woman, and she is currently dressed like she walked out of a William Gibson novel -- black leather jacket, red and black striped tanktop, black pants, rivet belt, knee high boots with all the buckles.

She is already drunk. At a piano bar. Welcome to grad school. Also she is now leaning on the piano and chinhandsing.]

Okay, okay, let's see. Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure. Do it.

[Hikari, you horrible girl. After a few seconds, congratulations, he stumbles over the damn thing! because really, with a trap like that, how could he not. He manages to not drop the ridiculous handheld, but he definitely twists around and looks about for a moment before he sees the umbrella then levels a withering look at the girl.

just for a second, before he manages to force it down.]

Some people are walkin' here, y'know.

[she smiles beatifically back at him, somehow managing to project an aura of unpleasant amusement despite her entire body language speaking of porcelain innocence]

And some people are sitting. It's amazing the variety of options that can be found here, isn't it?

[Raul looks over at the older man when he speaks up, giving him a once-over. he knocks a wrinkle out of his coat, turning up his collar in an ineffectual gesture to shield against what little rain was getting into the stop shelter.]

That's for damn sure. Seen worse, but not lately. Did the forecast catch this?

[Raul raises an eyebrow at Chris, racking his brain briefly. shit, he doesn't know that game too well but oh. ZZ Top song was used for the theme, he knows that much but mostly because he knows ZZ Top, fuck what was it

TUSH

THAT WAS IT]

You got it. Theme to Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure, freshly ripped off a ZZ Top tune.

[and once he hits the right point in the current song he manages to segue pretty smoothly into it.]

[he rolls his eyes. he was a cop for years, little girl, he's gonna go with the underlying impression]

And sticking a parasol out like that's gonna force some people to go from walking to lying on the floor. Both pretty valid options, but it's gonna shock someone to go from one to the other without picking it.

Edited 2013-06-17 13:36 (UTC)

[go ahead and be paranoid, it'll just make her look better to everyone else who can't pick up on vibes]

My sincerest apologies that you weren't able to pick your feet up high enough to avoid my parasol. It's such an unwieldy thing when it's closed up like this that sometimes unfortunate accidents are unavoidable.

[ Another day, another case. Pretty normal for your typical hard-boiled private detective - except there ain't nothing normal about this dame. Hair snarlier than a rabid pitbull and an ego the size of a planet. And it don't take a detective's eyes to tell she's bad news. Real badAHGJSFK OKAY NO. No. Jesus dick, no. There will be no cheesy noir narration bullshit here today.

What is here today - and wearing shades and a headscarf to avoid being recognised - is a short, scrawny teenage girl with way too much hair. She is looking very serious indeed. The most serious. THIS IS A SERIOUS VISIT CONCERNING SERIOUS BUSINESS. ]

So how much do I have to pay you to make you do some detectiving for me.

[ This is usually how business is conducted, right

right ]

[Welp, after he got the call back to the office he was glad to meet with the prospective client. sort of raising an eyebrow at this, though.]

Right, first-off, gonna have to be more specific. You're the client, tell me something about what you want done. Much as you're comfortable with. I'm not going to rattle off flat rates or something without knowing what I'm being hired to do.

[oh how he hopes it isn't another damn missing pet case. just making his way to the coffee machine off to the side of the office now, refilling his mug.]

Coffee?

Edited 2013-06-17 14:15 (UTC)

[ If Octavia wasn't a ~*~SUPER FABULOUS UNFLAPPABLE FANTASTIC ACTRESS~*~ then she would be jumping up and down and high-fiving herself at being taken seriously here. HELLS YES.

But that would be unprofessional and, like. Breaking character or something. Octavia is a consummate performer and completely above such things and OOH, COFFEE? ]

A foamy cappuccino would be great. But okay! The job. I'm looking for someone. A... guy I used to know.

[ She turns her head away and attempts a Look Of Intense (Yet Super Pretty) Distress. It probably looks more like she's trying not to sneeze. ]

[oh for fuck's sake. also sorry Octavia but this is an ordinary coffee machine. you're getting ordinary coffee loaded with cream and sugar and topped off with whipped cream. best he can do. deal with it. he hands it to her, sitting down with his own mug.]

Look. I'm professional, but I really don't go in for that hardboiled Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe shit. You're being textbook as hell right now, kid.

[also kind of creepy, you can't be more than 16.]

But fine. Tell me about this guy. [nonchalant little wave of the hand as he takes a sip.] Weave the story for me.

[ dude did you just call octavia serket textbook in any context

THE MOST BUTTHURT OF LOOKS JFC ]

Fine. He's a --

[ sudden faltering. HRRM. HERE THERE BE VAGUENESS AND STUTTERING AND GENERAL UNSURETY. ]

-- a. Guy? And he's, uh. I used to know him and. Shit. And you need to find him for me. Uh. [ brightening: ] I have a picture! Pictures totally help. Right?

[ And she reaches into her purse and hands over this. ]

I described him and one of the art dorks at school did it for me. It's pretty accurate!

[ 8D

8888D ]

Yeah, pictures help. It's a start, any --

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 9 of 21

[TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Protoman | The Protomen / Raul "Blues" Light

but no really option b

Simon the Digger | Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann | Simon Jenkins

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Option 8. I mean b. No I mean 8.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

1/?