[TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

[reapsthewind]

I HONESTLY COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD PICTURE SO THANKS LAVVY

Here, have the slightly more relevant song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nLlL1mwKI

Anyway, this is a random scenario test drive meem, since we've had an influx of new potential appers. I am a bit too lazy to make this a proper meem, so you make your own shit up. Here's some inspirational scenarios:

> The Mall. The hell are you doing out in the suburbs, bro? And why is that woman trying so hard to sell you nail polish?
> The Park. MAN IT IS A NICE D-- shit is that a Vermicelli or whatever the monsters are called?
> Arts & Crafts Fair. Cute knit cat cozies! Bad pretzels! YEAH.
> Rainy Day. It's wet and you're stuck at the bus stop. HOW DEGRADING.
> You get an echo while someone else is around. SHIT. PARANOIA TIME.

Or make up your own!

Comments

Protoman | The Protomen / Raul "Blues" Light

[hopediesalone]

OPTION A:

[It's mid-afternoon at a piano bar in Locke City, and this dour-looking gent on the piano is playing...

Is that Super Mario Bros. 3?

He's taking requests, anyway.]

OPTION B:

[Piano bar hasn't called, no cases...sigh. What's a PI got to do to get some damn work? So here's a guy waiting with his phone ready and a note on the door of his office saying he's out and to try alternate contact. So, chilling and walking around the mall in a longcoat and a tattered yellow scarf, waiting for some kind of alert from his phone.

He may or may not have one of these ridiculous fucking things in hand and a book sticking out of his coat pocket. Playin' Castlevania III.

Are you a passerby at the mall? Or are you a would-be client looking to get in touch with him?]

OPTION C:

[Whatever you like! Go go go.]

but no really option b

[thorny]

[Hikari happens to be a fellow shopper at the mall today, dressed to the nines and out searching for acceptable accessories. she's taken a break at the moment and is sitting on a bench when she spots the wannabe noir asshole wandering by her.

did he really think that he could get away with looking so conspicuous while playing something like that? she really has no idea, but she's certainly going to do something about it either way. nobody that absorbed in something should ever be left to alone.

it's pretty simple, after all. all it takes is for her to angle the parasol balanced between her knees down a bit and some patience. the umbrella is a long one today, and with that sort of unfocus it's bound to catch him up]

[hopediesalone]

[Hikari, you horrible girl. After a few seconds, congratulations, he stumbles over the damn thing! because really, with a trap like that, how could he not. He manages to not drop the ridiculous handheld, but he definitely twists around and looks about for a moment before he sees the umbrella then levels a withering look at the girl.

just for a second, before he manages to force it down.]

Some people are walkin' here, y'know.

[thorny]

[she smiles beatifically back at him, somehow managing to project an aura of unpleasant amusement despite her entire body language speaking of porcelain innocence]

And some people are sitting. It's amazing the variety of options that can be found here, isn't it?

[hopediesalone]

[he rolls his eyes. he was a cop for years, little girl, he's gonna go with the underlying impression]

And sticking a parasol out like that's gonna force some people to go from walking to lying on the floor. Both pretty valid options, but it's gonna shock someone to go from one to the other without picking it.

[thorny]

[go ahead and be paranoid, it'll just make her look better to everyone else who can't pick up on vibes]

My sincerest apologies that you weren't able to pick your feet up high enough to avoid my parasol. It's such an unwieldy thing when it's closed up like this that sometimes unfortunate accidents are unavoidable.

[reapsthewind]

[So there's this woman, and she is currently dressed like she walked out of a William Gibson novel -- black leather jacket, red and black striped tanktop, black pants, rivet belt, knee high boots with all the buckles.

She is already drunk. At a piano bar. Welcome to grad school. Also she is now leaning on the piano and chinhandsing.]

Okay, okay, let's see. Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure. Do it.

[hopediesalone]

[Raul raises an eyebrow at Chris, racking his brain briefly. shit, he doesn't know that game too well but oh. ZZ Top song was used for the theme, he knows that much but mostly because he knows ZZ Top, fuck what was it

TUSH

THAT WAS IT]

You got it. Theme to Cosmo's Cosmic Adventure, freshly ripped off a ZZ Top tune.

[and once he hits the right point in the current song he manages to segue pretty smoothly into it.]

[reapsthewind]

[Who's ZZ Top??? She almost, almost asks that question... then no, no, fuck that, I have a CELL PHONE! time to attempt to look up who that is on google and she spells it wrong six times haha oops]

Y'know, I never realized that it wasn't written for the game.

[beat]

I mean, I didn't realize that when I was a kid, and stuff. Y'know.

...

It's a great song.

[SMOOTH]

Option 8. I mean b. No I mean 8.

[drama8om8]

[ Another day, another case. Pretty normal for your typical hard-boiled private detective - except there ain't nothing normal about this dame. Hair snarlier than a rabid pitbull and an ego the size of a planet. And it don't take a detective's eyes to tell she's bad news. Real badAHGJSFK OKAY NO. No. Jesus dick, no. There will be no cheesy noir narration bullshit here today.

What is here today - and wearing shades and a headscarf to avoid being recognised - is a short, scrawny teenage girl with way too much hair. She is looking very serious indeed. The most serious. THIS IS A SERIOUS VISIT CONCERNING SERIOUS BUSINESS. ]

So how much do I have to pay you to make you do some detectiving for me.

[ This is usually how business is conducted, right

right ]

[hopediesalone]

[Welp, after he got the call back to the office he was glad to meet with the prospective client. sort of raising an eyebrow at this, though.]

Right, first-off, gonna have to be more specific. You're the client, tell me something about what you want done. Much as you're comfortable with. I'm not going to rattle off flat rates or something without knowing what I'm being hired to do.

[oh how he hopes it isn't another damn missing pet case. just making his way to the coffee machine off to the side of the office now, refilling his mug.]

Coffee?

[drama8om8]

[ If Octavia wasn't a ~*~SUPER FABULOUS UNFLAPPABLE FANTASTIC ACTRESS~*~ then she would be jumping up and down and high-fiving herself at being taken seriously here. HELLS YES.

But that would be unprofessional and, like. Breaking character or something. Octavia is a consummate performer and completely above such things and OOH, COFFEE? ]

A foamy cappuccino would be great. But okay! The job. I'm looking for someone. A... guy I used to know.

[ She turns her head away and attempts a Look Of Intense (Yet Super Pretty) Distress. It probably looks more like she's trying not to sneeze. ]

[hopediesalone]

[oh for fuck's sake. also sorry Octavia but this is an ordinary coffee machine. you're getting ordinary coffee loaded with cream and sugar and topped off with whipped cream. best he can do. deal with it. he hands it to her, sitting down with his own mug.]

Look. I'm professional, but I really don't go in for that hardboiled Sam Spade and Philip Marlowe shit. You're being textbook as hell right now, kid.

[also kind of creepy, you can't be more than 16.]

But fine. Tell me about this guy. [nonchalant little wave of the hand as he takes a sip.] Weave the story for me.

[drama8om8]

[ dude did you just call octavia serket textbook in any context

THE MOST BUTTHURT OF LOOKS JFC ]

Fine. He's a --

[ sudden faltering. HRRM. HERE THERE BE VAGUENESS AND STUTTERING AND GENERAL UNSURETY. ]

-- a. Guy? And he's, uh. I used to know him and. Shit. And you need to find him for me. Uh. [ brightening: ] I have a picture! Pictures totally help. Right?

[ And she reaches into her purse and hands over this. ]

I described him and one of the art dorks at school did it for me. It's pretty accurate!

[ 8D

8888D ]

1/?

[hopediesalone]

Yeah, pictures help. It's a start, any --

2/?

[hopediesalone]

3/?

[hopediesalone]

4/?

[hopediesalone]

[wait ok]

5/?

[hopediesalone]

[maybe

she can't be serious

right

maybe there was a mixup with the artist dork or he played a prank on her]

6/?

[hopediesalone]

[yes, that's--]

7/?

[hopediesalone]

[no that can't be right she gave the description




shit]

Option B

[wannabered]

[It seems it was case time. There had been a call before requesting Raul to head back to meet a client. Said client had the brightest red coat you will ever see on him with really bad stenciling of a ... raccoon looking thing on the back.]

Oooh, nice place. Super noir! Oh, I'm Thomas. Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I may have a case for you.

[hopediesalone]

[Raul nods, shaking his hand briefly. Though he winces a little bit at the "noir" label, this is a perfectly normal office for someone in his profession noir isn't part of it leave him alone about it

he does raise an eyebrow at the stencil though.]

Raul Light. We spoke over the phone, yeah? No problem. Sit.

[he gestures to the seats on the other side of his desk, taking a sip of his coffee. he seems a little weird, but hey, if he's got money and work for him to do...]

What can I do for you?

[wannabered]

[You're Noir, deal with it. It'll only get worse once the Narumi boys arrive.

Thomas takes a seat and pulls quite a few sheets of paper from his pocket.]

I need your help finding a few people.

[What follow are a bunch of REALLY crappy sketches of Hiroyo Hakase, Mitsuki Aoyagi, Aoi-tan, and Yumeria Moegi. Along with notes such as "Doctor Professor Hakase?" "Bear Panties" "Really important?" "Never the same costume twice?"

No, he had no idea how sketchy this might look.]

OPTION C

[hawaiianheir]

[YEARS IN THE PAST]
[BUT NOT MANY]

[There is a kid sitting in the police office. Hands cuffed around his back, sporting a bloody nose, a leather jacket, and slicked back hair that, in any other circumstances, might have been less disheveled.

You might be able to get some words out of the kid, but he doesn't look like he's in the mood to talk, considering he's giving you and everyone around you the hairy eyeball.]

[ENGAGE ANYWAY? Y/N]