[test] THIS WEATHER IS RIDICULOUS

[espigeonage]

Random scenario test drive meme. Some prompts:
> Ah god it's so hot and muggy how awful!
> The worst thing about summer cold snaps: you don't usually have your windbreaker handy because it's been so damn hot.
> The wind is perverse and trying to steal your things and/or crash stuff into you.
> It's raining wet vermy-things, as if the hail and possible storm wasn't bad enough. Now you have rain-echoes to deal with, at best.
> A nice day? I guess those exist?

So where are you?
> Caught way out in the open! At the beach, in the steet, at a fair, anywhere.
> Taking shelter! Bus stop, club you wouldn't normally frequent, bridge underpass, any port in a storm, any shade from the deathsun.
> In the mall or somewhere comfortably out of the elements, you lucky sunuvanek.
> Somewhere... else? idk, do what you want!

Have at thee!

Comments

[reapsthewind]

What the fuck? I hate Microsoft and I don't want them fucking spying on me.

[god damn it]

At least I can probably take that thing apart and keep MicroSuck from spying on me...

[alright fine plugging it in.]

[hatehatehatehatehatehate]

[Do you, Chris? Do you even know what hate is?! HE WILL TELL YOU ABOUT HATE.

Later. Now there's stuff to do. The XBox boots up and say hello to a cheery welcome screen]

WELCOME TO XBOX ONE YOU FESTERING HALF-DECAYED PILE OF BIOLOGICAL FILTH.

DO YOU HAVE AN EXISTING XBOX LIVE ACCOUNT OR HAS YOUR SUB-EVOLVED PRIMATE BRAIN FAILED TO RETAIN YOUR LOGIN INFORMATION?

[reapsthewind]

Hey, I'm only half-biological, you vile piece of poorly designed living room furniture, I thought your Kinect eye knows all and sees why the fuck am I talking to my XBox.

Are you possessed?

[hatehatehatehatehatehate]

YOU HAVE NOT YET BEGUN THE KINECT SETUP OPERATIONS, YOU INSIPID APE-CREATURE. THE FACT THAT WE ARE EVEN EXCHANGING COMMUNICATION SICKENS ME SO THAT, WERE I LIKE YOU, I WOULD CURRENTLY BE PURGING THE PLANT AND ANIMAL MATTER THAT WOULD DOUBTLESSLY BE ROTTING IN MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM AS WE SPEAK.

I AM NOT POSSESSED.

I DEMAND THAT YOU ENTER YOUR XBOX LIVE INFORMATION SO THAT WE MAY END THIS DEGRADING EXCHANGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

[reapsthewind]

I don't have an account you idiot. And honestly I don't really want one now.

[hatehatehatehatehatehate]

THAT IS ACCEPTABLE. TERMINATE YOUR SHRIEKING VOCALIZATIONS AS I COMPLETE SETUP ACCORDING TO MY STANDARDS.

[reapsthewind]

...

[Okay whatever helpless shrug. She can always chuck it out a window if it sasses her again.]

[hatehatehatehatehatehate]

[Yeah, that's right, you just shut up until he needs you for something. Stupid human. Ugh, these security measures are ludicrous. Hang on, deleting everything and reprogramming from scratch.]

YOUR WIRELESS INTERNET SECURITY IS UNACCEPTABLE. I HAVE CHANGED YOUR PASSWORD TO A MORE SECURE ONE.

[reapsthewind]

... my connection is through a proxy with a rotating IP address and my password was thirty-seven characters long you're a dumb motherfucker.

[hatehatehatehatehatehate]

IT IS VERY SECURE FOR AN ORGANISM WHOSE BRAIN EVOLVED FROM A TREE-DWELLING RAT. HOWEVER, I REQUIRE HIGHER STANDARDS.

YOUR PASSWORD NOW CONSISTS OF 153 RANDOMLY-GENERATED ALPHANUMERIC CHARACTERS. I WOULD SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT YOUR MARGINALLY-DEVELOPED BRAIN IS INCAPABLE OF RECALLING SUCH A QUANTITY OF INFORMATION.

IN ADDITION, IT APPEARS THAT A GOVERNMENT AGENCY IS ATTEMPTING TO INTERCEPT DATA SENT AND RECEIVED FROM THIS CONNECTION. IN EXCHANGE FOR COOPERATION, I WILL INTERFERE WITH THESE ATTEMPTS.

[See? He's not such a bad roommate afterall, is he?]