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[espigeonage]

The Train to STE Meme (SPOILERS for canon deaths)


You know those Train to the Afterlife memes? In STE the canon versions of all our characters are dead. What if there was a train bearing their spirits on to reincarnation here?

This is a meme where canon versions of the characters can interact. They all know they're dead. They may or may not remember just how they died, or how they got to be on this particular train. Doesn't matter if they'll be born decades apart - that just means some people disembark a little earlier than others. Go over brochures about what your new incarnation will be like, spontaneously turn or be human, try the snack cart, fail to convince the friendly but very busy conductor to give you a transfer, or simply chat.

You just can't stop the train, or leave it. Not yet.

Comments

[sucrosity]

It wasn't like that... [Exasperated but fond, the most she's been so far since he arrived. She remembers the conversation. It had been hard enough to have without recounting it to Jin. She hears him draw breath in, and remembers that Avatars hadn't needed to breathe, either, really. Her eyes shut as she lets him talk, her hands white-knuckled in her harness. Shakily--]

And I barely remember her.

[She hasn't felt this young in years. She hasn't been this young in years. She shouldn't feel like a child. But the part of her that remembers Jin will always been seventeen and fighting to stop the end of the world no matter how high the cost. (And high it had been.) She turns back to him, eyes wet and low in a way far too old for youthful face.]

A few months to know my father loved me would have been better than nothing. Do you really think--that not knowing until after helped? It hurt to know we--we could have made something, out of that time! Instead you made Juicy be nice to me and didn't think maybe I wanted to know about you and me.

[She reaches out to grab the shoulder of his jacket. Her grip is tight in the fabric.]

Jin! [She sniffles.] Ryuu is my big brother. He's not my dad. Even if you didn't get to be there, you...

[She trails off, miserably, and wipes at her eyes.]

It would have been better.

[amajin]

[He sucks his lip into his teeth and bites down. He remembers her all too well. Eyes bright and body lithe but hard like steel. She'd challenge him to make something she couldn't drive and he tried, he tried as hard as he could, but it didn't happen. She was too much for him. She was better than him. He doesn't know what to say. He can't make it better. His memories wouldn't make any sense to her, anyway.]

I know...

[He says, low and serious like it means anything.]

I didn't- I didn't make J do anything, you know. He liked you. He knew I... He knew I liked you, he didn't know why... I dunno if he'd have really understood. He wanted to know why, maybe. I dunno. I screwed him up, too.

What was I supposed to say? I wanted to be a good role model... I wasn't ready to be the dad who abandoned you, too. It wasn't like I felt good about it. It wasn't like I didn't want to-

[He sighs off as her hand grabs him, it feels like she's choking him.]

Your mom was already gone, and I knew things weren't good for me. I just... You were doing so well all on your own. You were like her. Better than me. I would have just made it harder. Do you think you could have done it, if you knew who I was to you?

[sucrosity]

[She snorts.]

Of course Juicy likes me. I'm amazing. [She goes thoughtfully quiet for just a minute after that.] I think he turned out okay. Perfection is boring, you know?

[Throwing his philosophy back at him might not be kind, but then nothing about their lives has been.

She pulls on his shoulder, trying to get him to sit up and look at her--]

You've always got ten million things to say, and none of them are the things that mean anything. [She breathes in, deep.]

I've asked myself that question a million times--could you let your dad kill himself to save the world, Yoko? Could you really? And I don't know! I don't know. But letting you make that decision knowing everything we'd never talked about felt really bad for a really long time. It still feels really bad.

[She hits him with the side of her fist, a soft defiance with no force in it.]

I never really felt like an orphan until I figured it out, you know?

[amajin]

[He laughs, bitter.]

Yeah, he's a good judge of character. [Maybe with one exception.]

[He finally uncovers his eyes, a little embarrassed about the tears as he wipes them aside. And looks at her. Really looks. He frowns.]

What do you want me to say? What can I say? I couldn't have wanted to live any more than I did... For you and J and Ryuuji and Hiromu... Mostly for me, of course. Knowing I was your dad would have just made it harder for you, it wouldn't have changed anything. Things were hard enough already.

[There's no more fight left in him, no more jokes to distance himself from the situation.]

Maybe I coulda left you a note or something... Maybe I was just afraid of you breakin' into hell to get at me.

[He lays his head on the back of the chair and gives her a wan smile.]

Maybe I can do a better job this time around.

[sucrosity]

For an egotist.

[She looks back, serious and old, older than he ever grew to be.]

There's nothing to say. You lived, and then you died, and so did I, and almost none of that happened at the same time. We didn't have much of a chance. It doesn't matter what we wanted--it never did.

[Messiah never managed to steal everything from her. She lived her life. She had a family. She loved them, and loved the last bit of Jin that was left when hyperspace collapsed.]

I wouldn't have been the only one to go after you, if we were diving into hell, you know.

[Her eyebrows lower, and she makes a confused sound.]

What do you mean?

[Understanding begins to dawn, and she reaches around for her pamphlet, sticking her nose in it to read.]

[amajin]

[He laughs and shakes his head. But her look pins him... He feels like he's being scolded, somehow.]

Yeah. Yeah. You got a lot of time, right? Tons of time, I hope.

[He puts his hand towards her cheek, hovering for a moment before he gives her a gentle poke. Never was good at physical affection...]

Yeah, I guess not. J, for one, would hardly let you go alone. I know. There were a lot of people that-

[He cuts off, unable to finish the sentence.]

A lot of other people I shoulda said sorry to, that's all.

[He watches her flip through the pamphlet, giving a really... awkward, tight smile.]

I, uh. It wasn't my idea. Maybe the new me will be a little better. Hope so. He better, honestly. You could hardly be much worse!

[He gives a loud, awkward, unhappy laugh.]