saveyourbrain | test drive meme!

TEST DRIVE MEME

Scenarios:

> Hometown Hustle - Are you still recovering from Locke City's recent Alien Invasion? Are these murders in Vegas really getting you down? Or are you excited, for one reason or another?
> Help, help, I've been robbed! - your bag or wallet's just been snatched, or is in the process of being snatched. Catch the snatcher or rough them up - you may or may not be surprised, if you come to blows or a chase, to find on throwing a punch that they're much quicker and/or sturdier than you'd have expected. Maybe someone will dive in to back you up.
> Monster encounter! There's a Vermini infestation going around in Las Vegas that may present itself in either of two forms. One is swarms of little black... insects? Tiny little wingless people-shaped ugly fairy things? The second is animals with a nose for the Numbered and an aggressive streak with some distinct mutations - you might find a lizard with disturbingly human ears, a bird with teeth, etc.
> Transportation/travel. You're at an airport or train station, whether to escape or take a tour to a strange-events hotspot, or plain go on an innocent vacation. Mix up your bags or timetables, grab a pre-ride snack, chat up those with the same destination, get or give directions, find yourself receiving an ill-timed item Echo in front of security - whatever you can think up!
> Say - is that one of those superhumans you've spied on the street? Yes, I do believe it is - you've seen them on the news/read about them, that or their looks give them away! Go on and ask questions of them, be it for serious answers or an autograph, depending on who you are.
> ...And it looks like you're a superhuman yourself. Looks like that hollowed-out feeling you got was followed by a mutation, or some strange thing in your brain. How're you going to come to grips with it?
> Wildcard/Etc. Make up your own!

Prompts suggested by Alec and Zero.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Being The One And Only Tavia Serket (tm) isn't without its perils. It's hard, being one of Locke City's most (in)famous and easily-recognised superpowered types. It's hard and nobody understands.

She's used to a certain level of attention and usually ~~laps that shit up~~ accepts it gracefully. Sometimes people want to touch her wings. Or take pictures. Or goggle at her freaky eye. All those things are fine.

What isn't fine is people getting their thieving-ass fingers anywhere near her pants pockets. ]

Oh my god.

Oh em gee.

[ She whirls around, glowering at anyone close enough to have been the culprit. A couple of passers-by get whacked in the face by her hair. THERE ARE NO SURVIVORS. ]

WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY BUTT?

You call that a butt?

[okay. maybe Rania didn't need to say that. and she definitely didn't need to turn around and flash a shit-eating grin to further call attention to herself. but if her mark thought that she was just copping a feel, that was better than getting busted for screwing up a simple petty theft.]

I've seen shapelier curves on porcupines.

[ OH HELL no. ]

You spend a lot of time looking at porcupine asses, Handsy McButtuch? Is that your deal? You spend all your spare time fondling unwilling ladies' derrieres and sexually harrassing spiny cutie animals?

[ You know how animals puff themselves up to look more threatening? Tavia's doing that. The hair is rearing up like a mighty beast ready to defend its mistress. A fabulously windswept mighty beast that costs her a small fortune in conditioner every week. ]

I should have you arrested.

[oh, come now. you'll have to do better than that to intimidate the one and only Rania Pyrope.]

I've heard enough about you to know that you make a habit of getting your butt touched! Why else would you be making such a stink about it? [another all-too-toothy grin. your move, Serket.] Have I impugned your butt's honor?

[ GAAAAAAAASP. ]

Excuse you? I will have you know that only my husband gets to touch my butt. He has exlusive rights! Except accidental butt-touches caused by sitting on someone's hand, backing into them or falling from the sky and landing butt-first on them don't count.

[ She checked. This probably goes without saying. ]

So you not only impugned my butt's honour, but you disrespected my boyfusband's rights and I am going to call him and he is going to step on you. Then the police will arrest the sidewalk stain that will be you, and you will go to jail and jail fucking sucks. Hah!

[she crosses her arms over her chest and tries not to look too insufferably smug.]

You can't arrest stains. Otherwise I'm sure you'd be in jail more often! Besides, Octavia, on what charges?

[yeah. yeah, Serket, she's calling you out. because she hasn't technically done anything illegal. which is the best kind of legal.]

Wow. Wowowowowowowowow. The charges, Sidewalkstain, would be sexual harassment. And, unnnnnnnn...authorised possession of... butt contact.

[ God damn is she pleased with herself for coming up with that. Her turn to do the smug arm-folding douchelord routine. ]

In faaaaaaaact, since I am a famous hero and all I should probably arrest you myself. That is what heroes do! We take down assholes and scumbags and assfondlers.

[Rania's grin looks about ready to split her head in two.]

You're an ex-felon, Serket. No jury in the world would take your word over mine. Even if half of your charges weren't complete garbage!

And I have it on good word that you make people touch your butt all the time. That's another strike against you. It's not looking too good!

[ Ohohohoho. That crocodile grin is getting matched. Almost. Kinda. Nobody can grin like Pyropes can but GDIT THIS IS PRETTY DECENT AS FAR AS SMUG GRINS GO OKAY ]

Reeeeeeeeally. I don't know who you have been talking to, but they sure do sound full of all the shit! And you're wrong about the jury thing. Absolutely positively about as wrong as wrong can be. You wanna test me, Sidewalkstain?

[ Mind controlling a courtroom is totally ethical, right

Ethical and not in any way mindfangy wow what would make anyone say a thing like that ]

test drive meme!

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SORRY I'M TAKING SO LONG, HEALTHSHIT