THE BITTY MEME

[stopinthenameofawe]

THE BITTY MEME



1.) Post with you character as if they were younger/a child! (If you already play a child, either make them tinier or age them up! We're gonna need some adults in here.)
2.) Tag around to either take care of the newly small people or make lots of tiny friends!
3.) ???
4.) PROFIT or just adorable. That's profit right?

Comments

Lazarus, Age 6

[dead_black_eyes]

[What a dour little thing. He's not so much a friend as a friend of a friend's child who needed an adult around while his uncle was in the hospital. He doesn't want to watch TV or eat his macaroni. He wants one thing only, and he's starting to sound like a high-pitched sighing broken record.]

I want to play chess.

[At least he is more consistent than most brats his age. Definitely more obsessive.]

[grannyfucker]

[He has dealt with six year olds, plenty of them. But none quite as obstinate as this. Jovan wants to tear his hair out and scream, but no. No. He can't do that. He has to be the adult here, because this kid is literally incapable of it.

He gives himself a second to gather himself so he can speak calmly.]

Alright, alright. We can play chess. But--only if you promise to eat your food while we play. One spoonful for every move either of us makes, and if you stop eating before you finish all your food, the game stops. Okay?

[By god, this kid is going to eat his fucking dinner and he is going to LIKE IT.]

[dead_black_eyes]

[Peals of childish, ridiculing laughter.]

Big bites are bad for your jaw. And big bites are the only way I'll finish my macaroni and beat you. Is that your way of asking if I can pretty please pretend that I can't beat you in six moves, even if you know Blitzkrieg?

[He uses his fork to simulate lightning striking his uneaten macaroni.]

[grannyfucker]

[Kid, if you weren't so goddamn cute, he'd want to throttle you.]

Did you forget about the peas and the banana you're also supposed to eat with your dinner?

[CHECKMATE.]

[dead_black_eyes]

You can't eat a banana with a spoon, stupid. The agreement was a spoon.

[More laughter.]