[TEST] DRIVE IT LIKE YOU STOLE IT

[reapsthewind]

I HONESTLY COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD PICTURE SO THANKS LAVVY

Here, have the slightly more relevant song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nLlL1mwKI

Anyway, this is a random scenario test drive meem, since we've had an influx of new potential appers. I am a bit too lazy to make this a proper meem, so you make your own shit up. Here's some inspirational scenarios:

> The Mall. The hell are you doing out in the suburbs, bro? And why is that woman trying so hard to sell you nail polish?
> The Park. MAN IT IS A NICE D-- shit is that a Vermicelli or whatever the monsters are called?
> Arts & Crafts Fair. Cute knit cat cozies! Bad pretzels! YEAH.
> Rainy Day. It's wet and you're stuck at the bus stop. HOW DEGRADING.
> You get an echo while someone else is around. SHIT. PARANOIA TIME.

Or make up your own!

Comments

Eren Yeager | Attack on Titan | Alan Hunter

[wirsinddiejager]

[oh god what am I even doing]

[Option A: The Park]

[Ah, what a beautiful day! What could be better than taking a walk in the park? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, everything is just ridiculously picturesque. Look, there's even a painter working on a piece of art out there! So atmospheric!

Well, actually the painter is a teenage boy wearing a slightly unhinged expression and practically attacking his canvas. There's paint flying everywhere - you'll probably get some on you if you approach.]

[OPTION B: ANYTHING]

[Seriously, anything. Whatever your heart desires.]

GENTLY LOVES UPON IN AN OPTION A-LIKE MANNER

[drama8om8]

[ Hello, Artdork McSointense. As Octavia approaches from a distance, she is Judging You (tm) for daring to paint in public. Haha hobbies are so lame what a loser

As she gets a bit closer, she's judging the technique. What what what are you doing, dude. Look at your life and your choices.

Finally, on getting close enough to see the full effect of the most ridiculous display of shounen painting in the history of paradox space, she's not just judging. She is full-on gawking in amused horror. There is a degree of open-mouthed disbelief and WHOOPS SHE'S SO DISTRACTED THAT SHE WALKED INTO A TREE ]

louise help what am i doing with my life

[wirsinddiejager]

[Um, excuse you. This is not a hobby. This is a calling. A destiny.

Okay yes this is totally ridiculous.

Not that Alan is aware of that, or of anything else other than his Masterpiece. He doesn't even know that Octavia is there, let alone that she is judging him. Nothing exists in this world but him and the painting.

In case she happens to be close enough to see said painting, she might just about be able to recognise it as a loving portrait of Batman. Or this universe's expy of Batman, idk.}

WONDERFUL MAGICAL THINGS IN THE NAME OF BONERS

[drama8om8]

[ TANTRUM AVERTED. Octavia quickly rearranges herself so she is leaning in a cool and nonchalant manner against the tree (SHE MEANT TO DO THAT OKAY IT WAS INTENTIONAL) and raises an eyebrow.

So cool. Nothing humiliating happened here. There is only judging. ]

Nice painting. Superman, right?

[ She knows it's not superman ok but she must keep up the snootery you don't understand ]

Re: WONDERFUL MAGICAL THINGS IN THE NAME OF BONERS

[wirsinddiejager]

[It takes a little bit for Alan's brain to register that a) someone is talking to him and b) he should probably talk back. However, once it does and he turns around, the crazyface is gone and he's actually looking like a reasonably sane person. A sane person with paint on his nose.]

It's Batman, actually.

[There's a none-too-subtle undercurrent of scorn in his voice. You should know better.]

[drama8om8]

[ HHHHHHHHWHAT that's unsettling as shit. Octavia is now completely thrown, since:

1) WHERE DID THE CRAZYFACE GO? Did he hide it in his pocket or something what is his deal
2) HOW IS THERE DERISION ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS ENCOUNTER everything she has ever known is a lie. ]

Gmuh.

[ That was not a word. Time to try again. In a suitably aloof and snotty manner. She can do this, no problem. Acting. ]

Meaning. Why are you painting Batman in the fucking park? Aren't you supposed to paint, like. Trees and shit out here? As opposed to men who are not bats, but who call themselves Bat men.

[ DERISIVE HAIRTOSS. SHE IS BACK INTHE FUCKING GAME. ]

[wirsinddiejager]

[Yes, Octavia. He hid the crazyface in his pocket. That is where he keeps his faces.

As it is, he's looking completely unfazed by any aloofness or snottiness. Your skills are useless here.]

I'm painting Batman because Batman is awesome. And I paint whatever the hell I want wherever I want.

A

[neopianangst]

[Shinji happens to quite like the park, but today, today he's prepared to temporarily reevaluate that as some of Alan's wayward paint comes flying towards him.

He wants to speak up, but oh god what's a shy kid to do?

Mumble.]

You could be more careful with that, you know.

[wirsinddiejager]

[Sorry, Shinji. A mumble is not nearly enough to reach Alan when he's in this state. All he's getting is more paint thrown at him.]

[neopianangst]

[Well then.

Okay, he's gonna do it. He's gonna raise his voice.]

H-Hey!

[wirsinddiejager]

[The painting stops. For a moment, he just stands there, hand raised mid-stroke. Then, just like that, he snaps out of his reverie and turns around, blinking at Shinji.]

What?

[neopianangst]

[...Seriously, dude.]

You're getting that everywhere, you know...

[He gestures to the paint dripping down his cheek, and splattered on his shirt...]

[wirsinddiejager]

...Huh?

[And now he's. Looking around for the first time since he started painting.



Wow that is a lot of paint everywhere.]

Oh. I...didn't notice.

A. hopefully not as violent as their last thread

[toobig]

[Usually Bertholdt would never talk to anyone while out by himself, no matter how annoyed or uncomfortable they made him. Even now, when Alan splattered paint onto his glasses he only pauses to take them off and look wearily at the blue paint splattered on the lenses. It's... just a kid. He shouldn't be so timid about talking to him, or even about telling him off, but he is anyway.]

[After a few moments, he clears his throat a little.]

Excuse me... You should... really watch what you're doing.

[wirsinddiejager]

[It takes a couple of seconds for Alan to actually register that he's being spoken to. During which he continues to throw paint around. He does stop eventually, though, turning around to see who's addressing him.

And then looking up. And further up.

Wow, this guy is tall.]

Huh? What was that?

[toobig]

[He's pretty much a giant.]

[Bertholdt wishes his face wasn't so hot. He's not... blushing is he? He looks away, fidgeting with his glasses a little and squinting at the ground away from Alan. Maybe it's better he can't really see him well.]

You... got paint on my glasses.

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan can't help but stare. It's surprising enough being faced with someone that tall, but he can't recall ever seeing an adult look that awkward.]

Uh...sorry? I was kind of in the zone, so I wasn't paying attention.

[The fact that Bertholdt got an apology out of him says a lot about how bewildered he is right now. Normally nothing and no one can make Alan apologise for any consequences of his art.]

[toobig]

{ooc: His AU info is here if you need to see it for this u // w // u;; }

It's... okay I guess.

[No matter what incarnation of Bertholdt that ever exists, he will never not be beta.]

I need to clean them though... Is it water color or....?

[Hopefully. He needs his glasses!]

[wirsinddiejager]

No, it's acrylic, but unless it's already dried, it should come off without any problem.]

[Though the surprise is starting to fade, Alan's still been looking him over curiously. Now he turns back a little, crouching down to dig through his bag and pulling out a towel covered in paint stains. It seems this is not the first time this has been an issue.]

Here, you can use this.

option A hello again

[shortspoken]

Hey.

[ That "hey" is not the kind of "hey" delivered as a friendly and informal greeting, Alan. Nor is it the kind of "hey" that implies any sense of outrage or anger. It is simply the flattest and most commanding "hey" ever uttered by anyone ever in the history of paradox space.

It's being delivered by a teeny-tiny twenty-five year old hardass, whose nametag on her park security uniform handily labels her as "A. Lyons." Why does a little public park like this one need security guards? Because I said so, is why.

She's not angry or anything, but she doesn't look pleased for some unfathomable reason. Maybe her face is just always like that. Maybe she really hates Batman.

Advance or abscond? ]

8333333333

[wirsinddiejager]

[Like absconding was ever an option. Really.

Well, it might be if the security guard starts looking even less pleased because gosh she looks kind of scary.

Why are the tiniest people in this canon the scariest ones is what Alan would be asking right now if he was aware of such things.

The point is, she's kind of scary and an authority figure, probably here to impede Alan's freedom of expression. He sets his back, ready to defend his shitty painting of Batman to the bitter end.]

What?

DON'T LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeee

[shortspoken]

We've had complaints.

[ That same flat stare, bordering on a scowl. She hasn't even blinked yet. Maybe she never does. ]

You have to leave. Gather your things -- [ a flick of the eyes towards Alan's painting supplies, followed by a curt nod to one side ] -- and go.

[ Alan Hunter, meet Annabel Lyons. Or, alternatively, The Man. ]

shhhshhoooshshoosh it'll be fine

[wirsinddiejager]

[Aw hell naw. Like Alan is going to be the slightest bit intimidated by this lady. Not gonna happen.

Nope.]

Last time I checked, this was a public space. You can't make me leave.

[That came out sounding a lot less resolute and a lot more petulant than he intended. He might be a little bit intimidated after all.]

'_';;;;

[shortspoken]

[ Gosh. Who could possibly have guessed that Psycho Paint Boy would be difficult.

(Sarcasm.)

With an almost inaudible sigh, Annabel places one hand on her hip and flicks her bangs out of her face with the other. ]

You're disturbing the peace. And littering. [ A pointed look at the paint spatters everywhere. ] Using the park isn't a right, it's a privilege. One you just lost.

[ Is that a challenging look in her eye? YES IT IS ]

U3U

[wirsinddiejager]

...I'm pretty sure paint doesn't count as littering.

[He's not actually sure at all. Maybe it would have been a good idea to go with watercolours, they definitely wouldn't have counted.]

And anyway, all I've been doing is painting. There's nothing wrong with that.